Your Primary Question

Your Primary Question is the 1 question you ask yourself that’s the driving force behind your entire experience of life. It is with you wherever you go and whatever you do.

What is it exactly?

Your primary question comes from beliefs and values you were instilled with as a child, usually from what is called an SEE (Significant Emotional Event) that had a lot of pain attached to it.

This experience will usually imprint a child or adolescent with some values and beliefs that drive that person’s life well into adulthood.

How do I discover what my Primary Question is?

The best way to discover your own primary question is with thorough and authentic self-reflection. A great idea would be to take some time alone with a journal and answer the following questions:

• What is my primary focus in life that travels with me everywhere I go, whatever I do?
• What are the strongest beliefs and values I hold behind this focus?
• What is the question behind these beliefs and values?

What can I do to change my Primary Question?

Sticking with self-reflection and journaling is first to discover what the SEE was that caused this question to be instilled in you.

Again, this will usually be a very painful event you were imprinted with. If you can attached your primary question to an SEE that caused you a lot of pain, you probably have the correct primary question.

Once you know your SEE for your old question, you can then answer these questions:

• What is the upside of living with my old Primary Question?
• What is the downside of living with my old Primary Question?
• What do I need to give myself to alleviate the pain of pursuing this old primary question?
• What is a NEW primary question you could ask yourself that preserves the original upside, eliminates the downside, and incorporates that you need into your life?

Once you have your new primary question, you can move on to installing this new primary question and turning it into the unconscious way you live your life.

This is done through repetition. Ask yourself this question as much as possible as a mantra.

Do at least a 10 minute daily silence practice where you sit in silence, but inside your own mind you repeat this question over and over again. If your brain begins to wander, just gently escort it back to your primary question.

Finally, you want to work on installing this Primary Question for about a year, and then revisit it to see if it is correct and still serving you, because we will evolve as people over time and likewise, so should our primary question.

Listen to this week’s episode now to hear in-depth detail on each of these points and to hear me tell my own story of transforming my old Primary Question and replacing it with my new one.